Midnight Meetings
by lesmisgirl
Summary: A collection of Jily oneshots that all take place during the late hours of the night.
1. Vigilante

Lily couldn't imagine why the Death Eaters had decided to have a meeting in this weather.

Maybe it was an ambiance thing. One usually would assume that bad guys meet on "dark and stormy nights". It was expected. But Lily doubted that the Death Eaters thought they were bad guys, so that theory didn't make much sense.

Maybe they thought they could harbor lightening's power. There were some extremist wizards who had thought that before.

Or perhaps they thought that no one would intrude on a meeting in this weather.

Well, no one but Lily.

But she had something to see. Something she needed answer to.

No one was going to stop her.  
**ooo**  
It was midnight when she snuck out of the dorm. She'd never snuck out of her dorm before, but walking the hallways at nights was nothing to to her. It was a common duty of Head Girl.

Those paroles involved James Potter, her...well, friend, she supposed. At one time he was her mortal enemy, but that role had been newly filled by the Death Eaters.

James wasn't so bad. In fact, he was one of the people she talked to the most, really. Sort of a force of circumstance. Paroles would get boring so they would get talking.

He was actually very smart. Funny too. And in the right light, a little handsome...

_Focus_, Lily slipped out of the portrait hole. The Fat Lady was asleep, snoring very loudly.

She had a plan if she was caught. She'd just say Dumbledore had asked her to run an errand. No one would question her or ask for papers.

She hoped.

"Well, well."  
_  
Damn._

Lily turned quickly, trying her best to not appear guilty.

It wasn't a teacher that had found her, it was worse.

It was James Potter.

"Sneaking out, Evans? Rebellious spirit, I love it," James smirked in a very James Potter way. He squinted, "Not going out to meet some bloke, are you? Cause if so, I'll have to beat him up. That's a bad influence, him making you sneak out at night."

Lily crossed her arms, "I'm not meeting a date, Potter. Some of do other things with our time than pursue the opposite sex."

He chuckled, "You make it all sound so scientific, Evans." He paced closer and Lily tried her hardest to look impassive. "So why are you sneaking out?"

"None of your business," Lily snapped back.

James raised his arms in surrender, "Just being curious. Making sure you aren't doing anything stupid and reckless. Because if you are doing something stupid and reckless, count me in."

Lily studied him for a moment. She had a very strong feeling James wasn't going to just let her walk away. He was going to force himself into her plans in some way.

So she may as well do it on her terms.

"Come on," Lily said, starting down the hallway.

He followed after her briskly, "So, where are we going?"

Lily tried to keep her cool, "The Forbidden Forrest."

"And why are we venturing into the Forbidden Forrest on a stormy night? You trying to raise the dead, or something?"

Lily growled, "I'm not Doctor Frankenstein, Potter." A bolt of lightning illuminated the hallway, showing the faces of the sleeping portraits. Lily raised her wand, shining light down the darkening hall.

"How are you planning to get out to the Forbidden Forest anyway?" James asked, standing a bit too close. He was throwing her off focus.

Lily scanned the corridor, "Through the side doors."

James shook his head, "No, Filch monitors those doors. Come this way."

It was a well-known fact that James and his friends knew every secret passageway around the school, so Lily didn't question him. She was a little wary though when he pried a painting off the wall. Behind it was a pitch black passageway.

He gestured grandly, "Ladies first."

She rolled her eyes, lifting her illuminated wand down the earthen path.

James closed the painting behind them.

"This isn't some elaborate plan to kidnap me, is it?" She asked.

James sighed dramatically, "You found me out, Evans! Damn and I was so close!" Her elbow nudged his rib, but he just laughed again. "You still haven't told me why we're sneaking out to the Forbidden Forrest."

Water dripped a bit from the ceiling and the ground was growing a tad muddy. She hoped the tunnel would hold up with this storm. But if it had been here a long time, it should be all right.

She hoped.

Lily wiped her brow, "Spying on a Death Eater meeting."

"Very vigilante, I like it," he said. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her neck and it sent tingled right down to her heels. _Focus_. "But the Evans I know doesn't just sneak out to spy on meetings, so what's up?"

"Nothing's up," she lied. He didn't believe her. She didn't even have to see his face to know that.

They came to a curve to the left that led to more darkness. And dampness. Lily was not liking how wet it was getting in the tunnel.

"This is the first official meeting and I just wanted to spy. Make sure they don't do anything bad," It wasn't entirely a lie. It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie. "I feel it's my duty as Head Girl."

James smirked, "Then it's my duty too." Soon he was next to her, walking the same pace. "I guess I'll just wait until you tell me your _real_ reason."

She pursed her lips, "Why do you think I'm lying?"

"Because I know you, Evans," James said. "You wouldn't just sneak out and risk getting caught to simply spy on a meeting. You've got other reasons."

Of course she had other reasons. A reason that had bothered her ever since Voldemort officially was rising to power as recruiting from Hogwarts. After she found out that he was recruiting from Slytherin, she feared the worse.

And she knew it was true. She knew it.

But she hoped.

She hoped it wasn't.

Lily clenched her jaw, "It's a stupid reason." It had been so quiet she though he hadn't heard.

"No, it's not," he added softly. Warmly.

_Focus._

"You don't even know what it is," she snapped.

He shook his head, "I think I do though. And it's not stupid."

Lily stepped quickly, to not let her feet sink into the mud, "I just...I just want to see if he's one of them. Sever...Snape, I mean." Lily tried to breathe but the air didn't come. James was going to think it was stupid. Make it more than it was. He didn't speak. "I just have to know."

James didn't speak for a while and that's what Lily had expected.

It wasn't as though she still cared for Severus. She didn't, really, but he had been a part of her life for so long. He became her brother when her sister shunned her. The only true constant in her life.

She just wanted to make sure he wasn't one of them. Wasn't a Death Eater.

She had to know.

Lily could see a few stone stairs a few yards ahead of her.

Lily shut her eyes, "I know you think it's stupid."

James stopped walking, "I don't think it's stupid. I...I understand."

Lily stopped too, "Really?"

He nodded. His glasses had fogged up a bit so his eyes were blurry, "I mean, if Sirius had joined the Death Eaters, I'd want to know. I get it."

Lily felt her heart pounding and her face flushing. She wanted to smile for some reason but fought the urge.

"Come on," James cleared his throat. "Let's go spy on a meeting."  
**ooo**  
Lily recognized some of them.

There was Muliciber, with his greasy blonde hair and equally slimy smile. Regulus, Sirius's younger brother who looked unnervingly like the latter. A few girls Lily had seen in the halls before. Some more boys that faded from familiar to strangers.

And Severus.

She shouldn't have been surprised, but when she glanced him through the leaves her heart stung a little.

_He's better than this_, she thought. She knew what Voldemort's followers did. What they had done.

_So much better than this._

But he wasn't. Not really. She knew that.

He'd proved that._  
_  
Lily and James had stood at a distance out of sight but close enough to hear most of the conversation. Luckily, in their arrogance, the Slytherin hadn't bothered to put up protective spells. They didn't think anyone would spy on their meeting.

James nudged Lily's hand, sensing her unease. _How does he always know what I'm thinking?  
_  
"We can go now, if you want."

Lily smiled but shook her head, "We're already here. May as well listen in for a bit."

The meeting had already begun and Lily had picked up some words. Mostly about their Dark Lord leading their way to a pure, magical society. Lovely things like that.

"If we want pure blooded wizards, why not invite people from other houses to join?" Suggested a lithe, blonde girl. "Surely there are other families interested in keeping their lines pure."

"You mean are we going to invite James Potter," a girl with brown hair sitting next to her jeered. "Narcissa, please, we'd never invite a blood traitor like him."

Lily could see James's jaw tighten and he fought to not show any emotion.

She clasped his hand. She wasn't sure why, but it felt right.

He clasped hers right back.

They listed off other possible members but they were all shot down. Even Sirius.

"Too volatile," Said a prim looking boy. "But James Potter still should be considered. He's brilliant, of good family, and an excellent fighter."

"And a blood traitor!" Yelled someone in the back. The group murmured into an uproar that was interrupted by none other than Severus.

He raised his arms, "We must also think of the Dark Lord." His voice was so cold. So much colder than the comforting, laughing boy she'd once known. "He is a Slytherin. It's only suited that his members are of the same house. James Potter has shown a certain distaste of Slytherin over the years and his volatile lack of judgement in most situations would not make him a good addition."

"You're just mad he fancies your mudblood friend!" A girl teased.

_Mudblood friend._

Mudblood.

_**I don't need help from a filthy little mudblood like her.**_

The memory slit her like a knife.

Severus's cold voice cut through the Forest, "She is of no consequence to me. No one of her kind is."

Lily dropped James's hand. She was crying. She couldn't remember when she had started by now she couldn't stop.

"I want to leave now," she whispered.

He nodded and led the way back to Hogwarts.  
**ooo**  
The rain plinked against the window in a way that could only mean it had turned to ice.

_How metaphorically resonate_, she thought bitterly as she laid her head against the cool glass. James sat next to her, looking at her in concern.

A fire burned lightly on the other side of the common room, too far away for Lily to feel its warmth. A clock showed that it was nearing 2 a.m. She wasn't even tired.

"I think I'm just shocked by how many people were actually at that meeting," James said quietly. "I know there were sort of rumors about Death Eaters, but it didn't feel real. Like it was just some secret society formed by kids." He breathed heavily. "But it's not, is it? It's real. And most of those people are seventh years and they'll be out in the real world soon."

Lily nodded half heatedly. "It's sickening. Especially when you hear what people have been doing in his name..." The fog on the window was dampening the back of her hair. She didn't care much. "It's not that I feel responsible for Snape or what he's doing. I used to, but I know he made his own choices."

James just looked at her. No judgment or confusion. He just looked.

She continued, "But I don't want him to be a _murderer_. He was my best friend he..." No. She wasn't going to cry. It was stupid to cry. "After I found out about my magic, Petunia treated me like I was a freak. Severus was the only one who didn't act like I was crazy. He was a brother to me."

James just nodded.

"And if now he's turning into one of those...monsters, then what does that say about me?" Lily sat up, scooting up to edge the window seat. She didn't look at James. She knew she sounded mental. He wouldn't understand. She shouldn't be telling him these things. But the words just came out. "I ignored all the terrible thing he did for years. I knew it I just…" She couldn't breathe. "Am I...am I bad too?" _I will not cry_. "Will I end up like him?"

James spoke up immediately, "Lily, you are not going to end up like him." He said it without question. Like a proclamation of fact. He placed his hand on top of hers and Lily felt her heart almost jump to her throat. "You are not bad. You're the best person I know."

She shook her head, shutting her eyes to shut out her thoughts. "How can you say that? I've treated you terribly before, James. I was so awful to you. What if I am bad?" He opened his mouth but she didn't let him speak. Lily felt the water hanging in the bottom of her eyes, weighing her head down. "The Sorting Hat thought about placing me in Slytherin." She admitted quietly. James looked dubious.

Lily exhaled, "I've never told anyone that before. When I was in Dumbledore's office once, the hat said I would've done well in Slytherin."

James did not respond right away. The only sounds breaching the silence were the cackle of the fading fire across the room and the slowing plink of ice against the window. Her breaths were the shaking breaths of someone fighting away sobs.

She should've kept her mouth shut. She shouldn't have told James any of this. He'll laugh. He'll call her crazy.

He won't understand.

He won't even care.

She rested her head upon her hands.

She expected him to get up and walk away. She knew he would get up and walk away.

Instead, he put his arm around her and gave a tight squeeze. For some reason, that made her want to cry even more.

"My dad always says that we've all got both light and dark inside us," James told her. There was a hint of embarrassment in his voice. If Lily hadn't had looked so pitiful, she was certain he would've laughed at himself. "What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." He breathed out a smallish chuckle, "It's a little corny, I know, but it's true. Everyone's done bad things, Lily. I was a horrific bully for years. I don't blame you for being mean to me because I was consistently awful to you."

Lily nodded, feeling a strange sense of relief come over her. James had not laughed at her. He had not walked away.

He was kind. So unbelievably kind that Lily was filled with a sudden wave of affection towards him that both surprised and soothed her.

She rested her head on his shoulder, "And now you're just consistently nice to me. Why are you so nice to me?"

He smiled, "I am also consistently inconsistent." A laugh starting in his chest and vibrated his whole body. Lily found herself laughing too ands few tears slid down her cheeks. She wiped them away and found herself smiling.

She sniffed, "Sorry for being a bit over emotional."

Lightly, he stroked her hair, "Hey, don't worry about it. It's nearly two in the morning and you've had a long night. Besides," she could hear his smirk, "I got to put my arm around you so it's been a pretty successful night."

Lily rolled her eyes. She sat up but he kept his arm on her. "Ah, there's the James I know."

"You love it," he winked.

She elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ah," he grinned mischievously, "there's the Lily I know."

Lily realized how close they were. She'd never been this close to James before. Well, she'd never been this close to anyone before. It was a bit disconcerting.

But what was more disconcerting how much she wanted to bridge the gap between them.

The chime of the clock across the room set Lily back to reality.

Lily pulled back, "It's late. We should get to bed." James raised a brow. "I don't mean we should get to _bed_," the words flew out of her nervously like some fluttery purge of embarrassment. "I mean we should each go up to our spectate beds in separate rooms and go to sleep."

"Good thing you clarified," James teased, "I thought you were trying to seduce me."

"Maybe tomorrow, I'm tired," she muttered.

He laughed, using his hand to mess up his already disorderly hair. "I should get some sleep. I've got a Quidditch game in the morning."

Lily's eyebrows traveled very high up her forehead, "A Quidditch game? Why didn't you tell me? You should've been sleeping not joining me on some crazy midnight mission..."

"Hey," he said, "don't worry about me, Evans. I will always join you on your crazy midnight missions. I will not miss chance to get on your nerves."

"You don't get on my nerves."

"You are a terrible liar."

Lily shook her head, "Is that how you found me in the hall? Were you following me?"

James looked away, "Following you makes it sound so _creepy_..."

"It is a little creepy..."

"Some people would call it endearing," he argued.

"But most people would call it creepy," she countered.

He hung his head, shaking as he did so, "You're never going to make this easy on me, are you, Evans?"

She smiled a wicked smile, with her index finger under his chin, she raised his face to eye level.

"You should know that by now, Potter."

James smiled. Not a cool smirk or a cocky grin. A real, honest, goofy smile.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

And then they kissed. Lily wasn't entirely sure who started it but she certainly didn't want to end it.

But it was two in the morning and Lily needed to get some rest.

She had some things to think over.

Lily pulled away, "Goodnight, James."

He frowned but nodded. As she walked to the steps, he called after her.

"Same time tomorrow?"

Lily laughed, "Get some rest, Potter." Then, feeling playful, she added from the stairs, "Win the Quidditch games tomorrow. Then we'll see."  
**ooo**  
The next day, in Gryffindor's strongest game to date, they won in a landslide against Ravenclaw 480 to 70.

Most of the goals were scored by James Potter.


	2. Books

The book store had that very specific smell of dust and bound paper.

It was a small very familiar to Lily, who had always been a bibliophile. She loved reading. She loved the adventures books that book gave to her.

She loved The Sleeping Dragon bookstore in Hogsmeade. Not only did Magwitch (the store's owner) keep a stock of wizarding books, she also kept a large supply of muggle books. Books like the ones Lily had grown up with.

Today, she was going to buy _The Hobbit_. She'd adored that book all of her life. Petunia had filched Lily's copy so she needed a new one. Petunia often took her sister's things.

Lily tried not to mind all that much. One day Petunia would stop being so hateful.

She hoped.

However her sister behaved now, Lily had found memories of reading _The Hobbit_. Well, they didn't read, their father read it to them every night. He even had special voices for each character.

Her father had always been so wonderful to her.

Lily remembered the day she got her Hogwarts letter. Of course, she had been very relieved to find out she wasn't crazy. There were others like her. Severus had told her so a few days prior, but she wasn't sure if she could belief him.

But it also scared her. It made her different from her family.

What if Petunia was right? What if she was a freak?

Petunia didn't even want to read with Lily anymore. She didn't want anything to do with her.

"Dad?" Lily said when her father had come to read to her that night. "Am I freak?"

"A freak?" He said. He sat down on Lily's rickety mattress with a squeak. With a warm smile on his face, he reached and ruffled her hair, "Never."

Lily was about to smile but fought it off. "But I'm different from you, Tuney, and mum."

"Yes," he agreed. "And I'm different from you, Tuney, and mum." Lily didn't understand. He looked at the book, "It's just like the book. There's hobbits and elves and dwarfs and orcs and men and all different kinds of people. They're all different, but they're all the same." He smiled again, "So you're an elf and I'm a hobbit but we're still just the same."

Lily nodded. Her dad always had a way of explaining things for her.

"Now," he cleared his throat and opened the book, "Where were we?"  
**ooo**  
Lily scanned the shelves of the book store.

Qs...Rs...Ss...

Ts...

She needed Tolkien.

"Ah, fancy seeing you here, Evans."

Lily didn't even bother looking up, "What are you doing in a book store, Potter?"

Tolkien, J. R. R. _The Hobbit_.

"Ah ha," she clutched the small green book and stood up.

James stood in the aisle, holding a glass of Butterbeer. Lily wondered how he snuck that out of The Three Broomsticks but didn't care enough to ask. His usual attire of his Quidditch jumper, round glasses, and messy black hair adorned him.

He squinted at the cover, "Whatsa Hobbit?"

"A thing from a book," she replied curtly. Lily realized she was probably being cold with him.

It wasn't that she disliked James. In fact, she'd grown quite found of him of late. They'd been spending a lot of time together, being Head Boy and Girl. He really wasn't all that bad.

She should be nicer.

Ah well, old habits die hard.

However, he wasn't even paying attention. He gazed at the tall book shelves as though they were the shelves of Honeydukes.

"Merlin, there's a lot of books in here," he breathed. "Which one's your favorite?"

An impossible question.

Lily thought, "I'm not sure. I've always liked _Pride and Prejudice_ and _Jane Eyre_. I also really liked _To Kill a Mockingbird_..." she looked at the book in her hands. "And this one too."

"Hmm," James sipped his Butterbeer. "I haven't read all that much."

"Shocker."

He smirked, "Some of us do other things with our time."

"Like knocking around a ball while flying on a broomstick?" Lily stared walking down the aisle.

He followed, "Or trying to win over girl."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Maybe try reading. You could pick up a few ideas."

Ms. Magwitch sat behind the counter. She was an old, small witch with wrinkly skin. To Lily it looked as though she had once been much taller but she had somehow shrunk and now her skin didn't fit her quite right.

She smiled at Lily, "That all today, Miss Evans?"

"Yes," Lily placed the book on the counter. She opened her bag and rummaged for her coins. _They're in here somewhere_.

Lily heard James put money on the counter, "I've got it."

Lily tried not to flush, "You don't have to-"

"It's not a problem," he continued. Ms. Magwitch made one of those looks old people do when they look like they know something you don't know.

"All right, dearie," She handed Lily her book. "Here you go!"

"Thank you," her voice was weak. She was still stunned at James's peculiar gallantry. She nudged him as they walked out, "And thank you too."

He grinned, "It's no problem, Evans. It's an honor to buy you a book." He took a swig of his drink. "Want to go and get a Butterbeer?"

"You already have a Butterbeer," she noted. The bell above the door chimed as they stepped out into the brisk autumn air. She saw her classmates walking around, chipper to be out of school for the day.

James stood next to her on the store's stairs, "Well _you_ don't have one."

"You already bought me a book, Potter." She clutched it to her chest. "You don't need to keep buying me things. People'll talk."

"Yes, they'll say 'James Potter bought Lily Evans a butterbeer?! The nerve! How dare he be kind to a person he enjoys the company of!'."

He laughed and soon she did too.

Lily raised her brow, "I'm a person you enjoy the company of? I'm so touched."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Never," her voice dripped with sarcasm.

James shook his head, "So do you want the Butterbeer or not?"

Lily considered it. She honestly did. She never thought she'd consider a date with James Potter.

_Not a date_, she corrected herself. _Not really.__  
_  
But then she remembered something.

"I actually promised I'd meet Alice for ice cream," she said meekly.

"Ah," James shrugged, "it's fine. Another time then." He got that mischievous look about him once more. "You still owe me for that book."

Lily scrunched her eyebrows together. She was fairly certain he wasn't talking of money.

"That wasn't the deal," Lily said.

"I don't believe a deal was made," he added. "But you do owe me," James stepped down the stairs, backing his way down the street with that stupid cocky smile of his.

Lily hollered, "You better not make me do anything weird!"

James waved his hand, "Wouldn't dream of it!"

Someone brushed past her on the stairs, "Must you two proclaim your flirtatious for the world to hear?" The voice belonged to Sirius Black.

Lily crossed her arms, still gazing down the road, "What were you doing in a bookshop, Sirius?"

"Not flirting with James like some people were, that's for sure."

"I wasn't _flirting_ with him!" Lily's voice rose much higher than its usual tambour.

Lily wasn't flirting with James. Lily never flirted with anyone. Didn't flirting mean giggling, lowering your IQ, and leaning on a boy? No, Lily certainly never did any of those things.

James and her just...bantered. Yes, that a good word 'banter'.

And it was fun to banter with him.

He was a very good banter partner.

"Whatever you say, Lily," Sirius said. "But I'll tell you something: I've seen Prongs do some pretty stupid things for girls. But I've never seen him buy a book for one." He continued down the stairs, "Just food for thought."

Lily's brain was barraged with so many thoughts she thought he skull would crack.

"See ya," Sirius tossed a wave over her shoulder as he walked away.

Lily said goodbye. Or maybe she didn't.

She wasn't sure.

Her brain wasn't functioning properly.  
**ooo**  
_Stop being an idiot. Focus.__  
_  
_This is supposed to be helping, not making it worse.__  
_  
The clock chimed midnight.

Lily curdled further into herself, clutching the book so tightly her knuckles turned white.

_Just read._

She'd thought coming down to the common room and reading would help her fall asleep. She'd been lying in bed for two hours trying to will herself to sleep but to no avail.

_I should've agreed to get butterbeer with him. He'll think that I don't fancy him.___

_Do you fancy him?_

Lily wasn't sure. She liked James. She honestly did...

But this was _James Potter_. James, whom she had hated and reviled for years. James, who never took anything seriously.

James, who had a new girl a week.

And Lily didn't want that. She didn't want to be girl-of-the-week. She was better than that.  
_  
__Just read. Worrying solves nothing._

_"I've never seen him buy a book for one..."_

_Maybe I am special to James.___

_JUST READ THE BOOK.__  
_  
Lily willed herself to stare at the page she'd been stuck on for a few minutes. She'd read a sentence and immediately forget what it had said. Then she'd start thinking about James. Then she'd yell at herself. Then she'd start reading again.

It was a vicious cycle.

"Just couldn't wait to read it, could you?"

_Of course he's here. Why is he always there?_

"Couldn't sleep, actually," Lily placed her thumb on the page and shut the book. "What are you doing?"

James set down the brown bag he'd been holding, "Couldn't sleep. I was going to go out and practice. Care to join?"

Lily shook her head, "You couldn't get me on a broomstick if you tried."

James smirked, sitting on the couch's arm, "Afraid of heights?"

"Afraid of falling from them."

He laughed, "I'd catch you."

"Still not a theory of like to test out," Lily sat upright.

James nodded at the book, "So you really like it?"

Lily clutched the sides of it, "Yes. I really do."

"You should read it to me."

Lily blinked, "What? Like, now? Aloud?"

"Yeah, why not?" James said.

Lily could think of a lot of reasons.

It was always strange for her to show a book she loved to someone else. Because when you really love a book, it's like it's a piece of you. You fear that the person you offer the book to won't like it. You fear that they'll say it's odd or bizarre or just plain bad.

And it's like they're saying they don't like that part of you. It feels like they're insulting that part of your soul lodged inside the words of the novel.

It's absolutely horrifying.

Lily wasn't sure if she wanted James Potter to see her soul.

She was afraid he wouldn't like it.

"It's sort of odd," Lily admitted sheepishly. "Kinda fanciful. You may not like it."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take," He said valiantly. James slid off the arm and onto the couch with a thud. "Besides, you owe me for the book. Read to me and we'll call it even."

Lily scooted over a bit, "It's still sort of weird."

James shrugged, "I suppose I could think of something else for you to do..." Lily didn't like the tone of his voice.

"Chapter One," she started almost immediately after his last comment. He laughed. "An Unexpected Party." Lily cleared her throat, "_'In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole_..."

And Lily kept going. And James did not stop her.

He did not stop her to say that he didn't like it. He did not stop her to say that it was weird.

Instead, he sat next to her as a perfectly captive audience. He chuckled at the right times and oohed at the right times. He even blurted out things when he got made or anxious for the characters.

And as it got later and the fatigue of sleeplessness came to them both, they laid against each other on the couch. James's left arm was wrapped around her shoulders. Lily lay into his chest, holding up the book with her tired hands.

Her voice was weak from speaking and it hand grown very late. And it was so very warm lying her with James next to her.

The exhaustion made her lose her inhibitions and she laid her head under his and curdled closer. She was fairly certain he was asleep; his eyes were closed underneath his crocked glasses. Lily knew she would be asleep soon.

She also knew she needed to go back to her room. She couldn't be found in the morning sleeping on a couch with James Potter.

Part of her didn't care. It felt nice to be here with him. She didn't want to leave.

Lily kept reading, not paying attention to what she was saying anymore.

James liked the book. He liked it. And now we're lying here together.

_And he's no nice to me. Why is he always so nice to me?___

_I think I'm falling in love with him._

Lily wasn't even sure where the thought came from. It just popped into her head, completely unannounced.  
_  
__How can you know what falling in love is like? You've never fallen in love before.___

_It's like this._ _It's like reading a very good book._

Lily couldn't read anymore so she left the book fall close.

"No, keep reading," James yawned. "I'm listening, honest. Bilbo just met Gollum and now he's got to escape..."

"James, I'm tired," Lily protested. "I want to sleep."

He paused, "Let's just stay down here. We never spend time together."

"We spend time together," Lily said. They had prefect duty, classes, and today at Hogsmeade...

"I really like you, Lily," James said quietly.

"Then why don't you ever ask me out?"

"Because I'm afraid you'll say no."

Lily peeled herself up, holding herself by her hands. She was over James at angle, staring at his crocked glasses and messy hair.

She kissed him. Perhaps she wouldn't have usually but there was something different now. There were no people. No one around to laugh or gawk or whisper. It was just the two of them. As if they were the only two that existed. Just the two of them alive in the middle of the night.

James put his hand behind her neck to hold her closer.

After a bit, Lily pulled away.

"I'm going off to bed now," She said with a smile. James looked very dazed and it was so odd she thought she may laugh.

As she stood and started to the stairs, James sat up immediately.

"Read me some more tomorrow?" He asked.

Lily raised her brow, "Is this a date?"

"Yes," he said so immediately that Lily did laugh. He grinned sheepishly.

"Same time, same place?" She asked.

He nodded.

"Sounds nice," She said. "G'night, Potter."

"Night, Evans."

Lily slept very well that night. 


	3. Midnight Mission

James was awoken by a shimmering light floating above the bed.

_No. Not tonight. We just got back and I'm exhausted.__  
_  
He saw Lily shuffle awake beside him, rubbing her eyes with her wrists.

"Ah damn it," she groaned, opening her eyes.

The light shifted, taking the shape of a large dog.

"Not an Order meeting..." James whined.

The dog spoke in Sirius's voice, "I hope I haven't...interrupted anything fun," James could hear Sirius smirking as he said it.

Lily growled, "I'm gonna kill him."

"But there's been a disturbance in Diagon Alley and we need you two. Death Eaters have been sighted...it's not pretty. Please, make yourselves decent, and be here soon." The dog nodded, shrunk to a ball, and disappeared.

"Why must they attack in the middle of the night?" Lily complained, sitting upright. Whatever her complaints, she threw her legs over the side and made for the dresser.

James stretched, scratching the back of his head. He fumbled for his glasses on the bedside table, "Why must they do this the night we got back from our honeymoon?"

"It's like Congratulations: You're married. Now get back to work."

James laughed, sliding on pants and a shirt, "War's a bitch."

"And it hasn't even really started yet." He watched as Lily slipped on a light blue sweater. She turned, squinting at his stare. "What?"

"You're beautiful," he said, walking towards her. His hands rested comfortably on her hips. He kissed her lightly.

He still couldn't believe they were married. He still couldn't believe she said yes when he got down on his knees and asked her in the middle of the common room one night.

He loved her so much he thought he'd burst.

Lily broke the kiss, "Don't distract me. We have to go."

"But distracting you is my job," he kissed her again.

Lily smiled, but still pulled away, "Do you have your wand? We've got to go." James nodded. They clasped hands and were soon apparating to join their friends.

James really hated apparation. He'd learned to in sixth year, got his license, but honestly hadn't used it again until he graduated. There was no need to at home, and it was impossible to do at school.

His stomach never got used to it.

They landed rather abruptly in the middle of the road. James grabbed Lily's arm for stability.

Down the road, he saw familiar silhouettes rushing towards them.

"Good to see you," Peter said with a slight grin.

Remus looked mildly happy to see them, but the severity of their state was what showed the most in his face. "Hello, you two. Dumbledore had us gathered near the Hog's Head. We're out patrolling now."

"What exactly is going on?" Lily asked.

Sirius answered first, "There was an attack at a nearby home. We checked it out but the Death Eaters were gone." Sirius lowered his head, "They killed the three muggles that lived in the house."

"Why?" James asked, incredulously. He looked at Lily. On the outside she was expressionless, listening to the conversation as if it was just a class lecture.

But James knew her well enough to see the revulsion in her eyes. In those green eyes he could see the fire burning inside of her.

"They were looking for something," Peter added. "Or someone."

James nodded, "Who else is here?"

"Us," Remus said, "And Frank and Alice. Dumbledore and Aberforth too, of course."

"Are we just patrolling here or the nearby neighborhoods as well?" Lily asked. Straightforward. To the point. Cold.

It was the only way she could deal with it.

It was all very personal to Lily. The Death Eaters vendetta for purity affected her more than any of the others. It was something that put her in danger.

It put her mother in danger.

It put her father in danger.

It put her sister in danger.

"Alice and Frank were going around the neighborhoods. We're supposed to look out over here," Peter explained.

Lily nodded again. James wanted to clasp her hand but he knew she didn't want that.

Lily didn't want to look weak.

If she looked weak, they wouldn't let her fight.

And nothing would stop Lily from fighting.

"You two can start up that way," Remus pointed behind them. The long strip of the Alley was dark and devoid of people. It was so odd to see the usually bustling place so empty.

"All right," James said. "We'll send up a flare is anything happens."

They all sort of nodded an agreement and went on their way.

When they were far enough away to be on their own, James nudged her arm.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Of course I'm not okay," Lily's voice was barely audible. "Those poor people were probably just sleeping and had nothing to do with Voldemort...it's disgusting. The whole thing is revolting."

"I know," James said. And most people did take Lily's views of the whole thing. Wizards didn't always understand muggles, but a murder was a murder, no matter what.

Of course James had seen how other people behave. He'd heard them call Lily and others of her birth vile names. He himself had been called a blood traitor numerous times.

"No more people need to be hurt by them," Lily stated.

That was why James loved her. She didn't say 'We have to make them pay.' That's what James would say.

"That's why we're here," James said softly.

Suddenly, Lily hugged him tightly. Which would've been very sweet, but it was too sudden. Something was wrong.

She hissed into his ear, "Behind you."

James pulled his wand from his pocket.

Then the spells began to light up the sky.

James put himself in front of Lily immediately. It was second nature to him by now.

Even before they were together, he always put himself in front of Lily. Whenever a fight broke out or one of the Death Eaters issued a threat, James's priority was always to protect her.

Not that Lily would have any of that. She was too fierce to be a damsel in distress.

She moved to equal ground with him and sent up a flare. The red light of it shined off of the Death Eaters' masks.

James counted twelve.

Well, minus the few he'd already stupefied.

But the Death Eaters were far above a simple stunning spell. Unforgivable curses were their weapons of choice.

More death eaters appeared and one look at Lily showed that they were thinking the same thing.

"Run!" James yelled. He heard the sounds of Order members apparating in and beginning to fight.

Lily took his hand as they began to round a corner.

A spell blasted from behind them and hit James in the ankle. It bent in an unnatural way and he let out a loud, guttural cry.

Lily stopped, assessing the injury quickly.

He shook his head, ignoring the pain that didn't want to be ignored.

James draped his arm over her shoulder and nodded to right. Lily veered to the corner and they collapsed behind a building, both breathing heavily.

He knew he could've been hurt a lot worse. In fact, he'd seen people been hurt a lot worse. Numerous times. Surely this pain was nothing compared to theirs.

But that didn't matter to his ankle. The pain seared through his body, making it impossible to think.

Lily best down over him, her red hair cascading around her like a halo of red waves.

"I think it's broken," she assessed. "We'll have to get you to Alice or Dumbledore. I'm no good at bone setting spells."

"I'll be fine, really."

"No you won't, stupid."

James laughed and quickly found that laughing hurt, "Don't make me laugh, we're supposed to be hiding."

Lily fell down next to him, "Why're they all here in the first place?"

"He wants something," James shrugged. "He's always looking for something."

A loud notice disturbed them. Somewhere down the alley there was a rustling.

Lily grabbed her wand instinctively, "Don't move."

James too her wrist, "I'm not letting you leave."

Lily raised a brow in her _try and stop me_ way.

There was no reasoning with her now.

"I can't have you getting hurt," James pleaded. He wished his damned leg would work and he could stand. He wished he could stop her.

Lily raised a finger to her lips, signaling his silence. She inched slightly down the alley to where the noise was.

The James saw it from the corner of his eyes. A flash of silver from the opposite side of the alley.

It was a diversion.

James had to save Lily. He had to.

He stood up.

_BLOODY HELL_.

With all his might he ignored the fact that his entire body was screaming at him, yelling ceaselessly to stop the pain. To sit back down.

But James had to save Lily.

A Death Eater stepped out in felt of them, the silver mask hiding their identity.

_Cowards. Only cowards fight from behind a mask.__  
_  
James raised his wand.

He suddenly thought about how pathetic he looked. Limping like a wounded soldier, he stood very off center. His arm was too tired to even hold the wand correctly.

_I'm done for._

The Death Eater began muttering a spell, his wand lighting up.

James braced for whatever was coming next. Pain? Torturous pain?

Death?

He tried to think of a spell to fire back but the pain from his leg was too strong for his brain to focus on anything else.

_Lily has to live_, he thought. _Lily has to get away.__  
_  
Then something completely unexpected happened.

A curtain of red hair flew in front of his eyes and suddenly she was in from of him. She cried out something like 'no' or 'stop'.

He wasn't listening.

Actually, he couldn't hear anything once her body fell to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut.

James didn't care about his leg at that point. He didn't care about the pain. He didn't care about the Death Eater in the alley. He didn't care that their night had been interrupted.

All he cared about was Lily and the bleeding cuts that were appearing all over her.

He'd never seen this curse before.

But he didn't know how to fix it.

James wasn't sure how he got there, but he was on his knees next to her trying to put pressure on the bleeding cuts. It didn't do anything; they were everywhere. He just looked like some idiot grouping desperately at her body for some way to help her.  
_  
__This spell wasn't meant for you_, he wanted to scream. _You weren't supposed to step in front of it.__  
_  
_You're so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid._

He wasn't sure if he meant Lily or himself.

The Death Eater was still standing in the alley way.  
_  
__Is he gloating_? James thought. _I'll kill him. Right now I'll kill him.__  
_  
Then he had a thought.

Any normal Death Eater would have killed him. It was the logical thing to do.

This one hadn't moved at all. As though he were dumbstruck by Lily's self-sacrifice.

And James could only think of one Voldemort sympathizer with a soft spot for Lily Evans.

James raised his hands, "Please, please." The Death Eater didn't move. "Fix her. The spell wasn't meant for her." James tried to stop his voice from sounding so small and desperate. He breathed, "Please, you don't want her dead. Just this once... Just this once... Please. You don't want her dead. I know, I know you don't..."

The Death Eater didn't move.

James hung his head, _I'm going to die._

_At least I'll be with her.__  
_  
Then a bright green light caught his eye.

The Death Eater was reversing the curse. He was healing her.

She wasn't going to die.

_Severus Snape you wonderful bastard_, James thought. He clutched Lily's hand tightly. She was going to live. She was going to live.

James looked up at Snape, hoping to than him.

But Snape simply put his index finger of the mask mouth and left with a swish of his cloak.

When James looked back at Lily, he saw that all the cuts were gone. The only traces of her injury were the bloodstains on her clothes.

After a few minutes, she opened her eyes.

James was so relieved he started to cry. And James never cried.

"Never," he told her, "ever do that again. Never. You live. You live and I die. That how this works."

"No," Lily's voice was breathy. "_You_ live and _I_ die."

James shook his head and let out a laugh for some reason. He kissed her hand hungrily, "I thought you would die. I thought I'd lose you. Oh, God, Lily," he curved over, resting his head over her chest.

She brushed his hair gently. He remembered how she used to always tease him about his messy hair and how he tousled it too much. Now she tousled it more than he did.

"I just saw him about to hurt you and jumped in front," Lily said. "It was just instinct."

James shook his head, "Lily, God..."

"How did I get fixed?"

He was going to answer truthfully. He really was.

Then he remembered the finger to Snape's lips.

_Don't tell._

James lied, "I'd seen the spell before. I knew the counter but I'd never tried it before. It worked."

Lily nodded, her head drooping in his arms, "I'm tired."

"I know," James said. The blood loss had come at a cost.

"They're over here!" Called a voice from down the alley. The roundish silhouette of Peter came rushing towards them, coat flapping behind. The shaggy haired outline of Sirius soon joined.

James looked up eagerly, "Are they all gone?"

Peter nodded hastily, "Yes. How are you two? What's happened to Lily?"

"She..." He breathed, "she took a spell for me. Jumped right in from of it. She'll be okay, just lost a lot of blood."

Sirius looked down, his bottom lip jutting out in the way it always did when he was thinking, "And how're you mate?"

"Fine."

Lily pulled herself up to a seated position. James clung to her tightly. She spoke, "He's lying. He's broken his ankle."

As if he words had summoned the pain, a fierce throb suddenly pulsed though his leg. He recoiled in pain.

Peter studied them, "Can either of you walk?"

"No," Lily answered for the both.

Sirius looked at Peter, "You take Prongs to Dumbledore to fix his leg. I'll carry Evans and follow you."

Lily shook her head, "Not Evans anymore, Sirius."

"Well I can't call both of you Potter. That would be confusing." He leaned down and took her hand raising her up a bit then scooping his right arm under her knees. With her arm wrapped around his neck, he stood up gingerly.

Peter suddenly looked very worried at the prospect of having to lift up James.

"You don't have to _carry _Prongs, Wormtail" Sirius instructed. "Just let him hold onto you."

Once James was up and supported by Peter, they began their macabre parade to the Hog's Head. Lily's head lay against Sirius shoulder and her body shook from its lack of substance.

"Almost there, Evans," Sirius forced a cheery tone. "Then we'll get you some cake or something to get your sugar back up."

"If it's Aberforth's cake, I'd rather suffer the blood loss."

Sirius laughed, "Touché." He called over his shoulder, "Doing all right, Prongs?"

James called a groan in response. Hobbling on his leg was no less painful than walking on it. _I'm almost there_ he kept telling himself, even though it was a lie.

But mostly, he thought of Lily.  
_  
__She sacrificed herself for me.___

_She'd rather die than have me die.__  
_  
Lily had said before that she'd sacrifice herself for him but he honestly hadn't believed her.

But she'd meant it.

_I don't deserve her_ James thought as she looked at her lying weak there in their friend's arms.

_I'm rotten. I'm a terrible person who has done terrible things. I don't deserve her. Lily deserves a perfect person. Not me. Not this broken mess of a man._

They got to The Hogs Head eventually. James wouldn't hear of getting healed until he made sure Lily was taken care of. After they got her some tea and cakes, Dumbledore set the bone with a flick of his wand.

It hurt for a bit but not for long. Soon he was sitting with Lily as she picked meagerly at her food.

"This tastes like sandpaper," she said as she let the cake drop from her hand.

James took her hand, "I'll make you something when we get home."

Lily nodded taking a swig of her drink.

"I love you," he said softly.

Lily smirked, "You better." She turned and kissed his cheek. Then he kissed her lips, trying to express all of his gratidiude in the one gesture.

Lily pulled away with a sly smile, "James, there are people around."

"And we don't want to watch you snog!"

"Shut up, Padfoot!" James called over his shoulder.

Lily laughed, giving him another quick kiss, "Let's go home. I'm tired. They'll probably make us do this again tomorrow."

"Okay," James said, "but you're not allowed to jump in front of any more spells for me."

"No promises."

"Lily…"

She kissed him again, "I will always try to save you, James, because I know you'll always try to save me."

He shook his head, "I don't deserve."

"No," Lily sighed, "You don't." A smirk played on her lips, "Now, take me home. I need some sleep."


End file.
